Future Phone Calls, Ashley Alongi

"That's how we're going to die. I'm going to push the button and our kids will think we're crazy. We are crazy."

A typical phone conversation between the amazing duo of Ashley and Shanyce. We like to plan our futures. We usually start out with death for some unknown reason. Then we move on to kids, weddings, going backwards until we reach the present.

It's a fact that parents that didn't have sibling have a hard time raising more than one kid, I say. I point the facts and statistics in these schemes. But you have to have three she points out. Natasha, Dimitri and Anastasia. Three names she knows I love and knows I want to name my children. Even though the name Dimitri will surely result in therapy. I'm Ukrainian, not Russian and Russia is a ripoff of Ukraine. Well, you're having three ,she says. And it doesn't matter if you can't control them because I will. Just tell them Aunty Shanyce is coming and they'll behave. That's a threat I know isn't short lived. I hear her yelling at her sister to do chores and sometimes it scares me.

I hope she can come over and take care of my kids if I have any. I can't cook, can't clean, and don't see the point in ironing. Apparently those are thing I need to know before I have kids. At least that's what Shanyce says. Maybe I'll have a husband with siblings. Shanyce says it's a sure thing. I believe her because Shanyce is my best friend and you're supposed to trust your best friend, even if she is going to kill us both by pushing the self destruct button. Yep, even then.