He is who I love
He is who I can never let go
He is my love/enemy
He is what I want
He is who I crave
He is what eats me up inside
He is why I act the way I do
He is who did this to me
He is who I hate
He is who they hate
He is why life will never be the same
He is what I want but can't have
He is who I hide
He is my problem
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Approaching Perfection - by: Ashley Hughey
I’m going to a track meet today. It’s in Syracuse, NY so we we’re going to drive in the night before the track meet and spend the night in a hotel. Its wonderful, fun, everything you can’t imagine a long car ride to be. I thought we were approaching perfection. Unfortunately, I thought wrong. But as fun as it was we didn’t make it to Syracuse, we made it to Kings Point. The car flipped over four times and we had no idea what was going on. My friends were fast asleep in the back and I was in the front just observing the night ride. We weren’t wearing seat belts. We were all ejected form the van that night. My friend died. I was shocked, here perfection was so close and someone just came and snatched it from us. After filing out police reports and spending the night in a hospital, I began to wonder where perfection decided to go. After her funeral, everything started falling back in place. Life was good again. It wasn’t the best/perfect because I had lost my friend and perfection. But it was good. One day as I reflected on my friend and her crazy ways, I thought about why perfection didn’t want her around. Then it came to me, she was perfection. As I cried because of sadness and joy, I felt her surrounding me; I finally realized I was approaching perfection again. She was back!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Future Phone Calls, Ashley Alongi
"That's how we're going to die. I'm going to push the button and our kids will think we're crazy. We are crazy."
A typical phone conversation between the amazing duo of Ashley and Shanyce. We like to plan our futures. We usually start out with death for some unknown reason. Then we move on to kids, weddings, going backwards until we reach the present.
It's a fact that parents that didn't have sibling have a hard time raising more than one kid, I say. I point the facts and statistics in these schemes. But you have to have three she points out. Natasha, Dimitri and Anastasia. Three names she knows I love and knows I want to name my children. Even though the name Dimitri will surely result in therapy. I'm Ukrainian, not Russian and Russia is a ripoff of Ukraine. Well, you're having three ,she says. And it doesn't matter if you can't control them because I will. Just tell them Aunty Shanyce is coming and they'll behave. That's a threat I know isn't short lived. I hear her yelling at her sister to do chores and sometimes it scares me.
I hope she can come over and take care of my kids if I have any. I can't cook, can't clean, and don't see the point in ironing. Apparently those are thing I need to know before I have kids. At least that's what Shanyce says. Maybe I'll have a husband with siblings. Shanyce says it's a sure thing. I believe her because Shanyce is my best friend and you're supposed to trust your best friend, even if she is going to kill us both by pushing the self destruct button. Yep, even then.
A typical phone conversation between the amazing duo of Ashley and Shanyce. We like to plan our futures. We usually start out with death for some unknown reason. Then we move on to kids, weddings, going backwards until we reach the present.
It's a fact that parents that didn't have sibling have a hard time raising more than one kid, I say. I point the facts and statistics in these schemes. But you have to have three she points out. Natasha, Dimitri and Anastasia. Three names she knows I love and knows I want to name my children. Even though the name Dimitri will surely result in therapy. I'm Ukrainian, not Russian and Russia is a ripoff of Ukraine. Well, you're having three ,she says. And it doesn't matter if you can't control them because I will. Just tell them Aunty Shanyce is coming and they'll behave. That's a threat I know isn't short lived. I hear her yelling at her sister to do chores and sometimes it scares me.
I hope she can come over and take care of my kids if I have any. I can't cook, can't clean, and don't see the point in ironing. Apparently those are thing I need to know before I have kids. At least that's what Shanyce says. Maybe I'll have a husband with siblings. Shanyce says it's a sure thing. I believe her because Shanyce is my best friend and you're supposed to trust your best friend, even if she is going to kill us both by pushing the self destruct button. Yep, even then.
Friday, November 10, 2006
My Favorite Place, Vickie Lennon
I pry open my eyes and discover that my room, which was totally engulfed in darkness, is now bright. Each shadow which once made my body tremble is now clear. The sun illuminating my room warms my face and entire body. Outside my window the wind shakes the trees as a young child shakes a maraca, making a faint rustle. I pull my blankets closer to me and cocoon myself in their warmth. I am too tired to think of the monotonous duties of the day. So I lie, aware that the world is going on around me. But I am at peace, my body at rest, and I am hidden from the start of my day.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
SECRETS, Ginny Georgekutty
SECRETS, Ginny Georgekutty
Bright, Blue eyes stared back at me. My Guilty conscience Reflected in their depth. I knew I could not keep it from her much longer. But, how do you tell a friend this secret, a memory I’ve kept hidden for years in hopes it would disappear?
“Well?” she said as she took a step back. Her eyes no longer pierced my conscience, but rather pleaded for entrance. I could not tell her. It would tear her apart. No, worse, it would drive her away and she was the last friends I had. Well maybe not the last, but the only one, I knew for sure, I could trust and understood my life for what it was. I could not lose her.
“What?” I asked again for the hundredth time, hoping she would drop the subject.
“You know very well what” she replied sternly.
Well, so much for that. There was no way I could stop her from asking. Maybe it was time to let it out and ‘clear my conscience.’ I gazed to the side and sighed.
“Okay, I’ll tell you. Promise that we’ll still be friends?” I said, my hands out, ready to seal the promise.
“Of course” she said, embracing my hands in our secret handshake. I could sense some hesitation as she did so, but I ignored it.
I plopped into the nearest chair, trying to sort out how to tell her such a secret. I looked up at her, her blue eyes more impatient by the minute. Well, here it goes. I took a deep breath and began.
“Well, I have this secret, but not a normal kind of secret. You know, like those secrets about a secret crush or a hidden fear. It’s worse than that. That was part of the reason I didn’t tell you or anyone for so many years. I also didn’t know how you’d react or how to tell you this without bluntly doing so.”
“Well, that’s what friends are here for, right? Friends never leave you because of a secret” she replied with a comforting smile. Whether it was sincere or afraid I did not know.
Nevertheless, my face eased and I relaxed a bit. Maybe it wouldn’t turn out that badly. So, I continued.
“It was one of those unclear moments, you know?”
She looked at me confused so, I explained.
“You know those moments where you can’t quite figure out if you should do the right thing or the wrong thing. When you are stuck between the two, each of them as appealing as the other, maybe even more?”
Her eyes widened as I finished, maybe starting to realize just what kind of a secret I had. Maybe she was beginning to think I no longer was the girl she thought she knew for so many years-the humble, morally good person she had trusted. I hesitated. Maybe I was wrong.
“You okay?” I asked, hoping she was not thinking what I thought she was thinking.
Her eyes sank back down and she nodded, attempting to smile as she had before. But, I could see right through. I did not even BEGIN to tell her my secret and I had already scared her off. Maybe there was still time to make things like it was before the moment I decided to go through with this mess.
“You know what? Just forget about it. It’s nothing, really.” I said, trying to drive her away from those thoughts, the suggestions of what I might have done. I think it took her awhile to process it all because only 10 minutes later did she snap back and realized I had stopped.
“Why did you stop?” she asked with her anxiety itching to pull free.
“Were you even listening?” I asked, maybe slightly angrier than intended. I wasn’t upset at her, well, not really. I mean, I would have reacted the same way. Maybe not so early on, but I would’ve reacted the same way, right? So, why did I respond in such an irritated tone? Was I hoping inside she would’ve been different? That she would’ve listened to my story before flipping out? That she would’ve understood?
But, she simply gazed to the side, as if a figure stood there watching.
“I have to go. It’s getting late and my mom’s probably worried.” She said with anxiety dancing upon each word.
She got up and started to leave, but I simply stood there watching. Just give her some time, I thought. She just needs some time to absorb it all, I reassured myself. Little did I know that it was the last time I would see her. By tomorrow, her family had moved and no-one had a clue where.
Who knew such a secret could cause so much chaos? Even half-revealed, the secret left me to live my life alone with the burden of such a secret heavier than ever before. Yet, perhaps such a secret saved me from a friendship I was not meant to have, a friend whose comfort was as fake as her words. “Friends never leave you because of a secret”—unless such a secret was as deadly as mine. Even unsaid, my secret was deadly as a poison seeping in your veins.
Do you believe in secrets?
Bright, Blue eyes stared back at me. My Guilty conscience Reflected in their depth. I knew I could not keep it from her much longer. But, how do you tell a friend this secret, a memory I’ve kept hidden for years in hopes it would disappear?
“Well?” she said as she took a step back. Her eyes no longer pierced my conscience, but rather pleaded for entrance. I could not tell her. It would tear her apart. No, worse, it would drive her away and she was the last friends I had. Well maybe not the last, but the only one, I knew for sure, I could trust and understood my life for what it was. I could not lose her.
“What?” I asked again for the hundredth time, hoping she would drop the subject.
“You know very well what” she replied sternly.
Well, so much for that. There was no way I could stop her from asking. Maybe it was time to let it out and ‘clear my conscience.’ I gazed to the side and sighed.
“Okay, I’ll tell you. Promise that we’ll still be friends?” I said, my hands out, ready to seal the promise.
“Of course” she said, embracing my hands in our secret handshake. I could sense some hesitation as she did so, but I ignored it.
I plopped into the nearest chair, trying to sort out how to tell her such a secret. I looked up at her, her blue eyes more impatient by the minute. Well, here it goes. I took a deep breath and began.
“Well, I have this secret, but not a normal kind of secret. You know, like those secrets about a secret crush or a hidden fear. It’s worse than that. That was part of the reason I didn’t tell you or anyone for so many years. I also didn’t know how you’d react or how to tell you this without bluntly doing so.”
“Well, that’s what friends are here for, right? Friends never leave you because of a secret” she replied with a comforting smile. Whether it was sincere or afraid I did not know.
Nevertheless, my face eased and I relaxed a bit. Maybe it wouldn’t turn out that badly. So, I continued.
“It was one of those unclear moments, you know?”
She looked at me confused so, I explained.
“You know those moments where you can’t quite figure out if you should do the right thing or the wrong thing. When you are stuck between the two, each of them as appealing as the other, maybe even more?”
Her eyes widened as I finished, maybe starting to realize just what kind of a secret I had. Maybe she was beginning to think I no longer was the girl she thought she knew for so many years-the humble, morally good person she had trusted. I hesitated. Maybe I was wrong.
“You okay?” I asked, hoping she was not thinking what I thought she was thinking.
Her eyes sank back down and she nodded, attempting to smile as she had before. But, I could see right through. I did not even BEGIN to tell her my secret and I had already scared her off. Maybe there was still time to make things like it was before the moment I decided to go through with this mess.
“You know what? Just forget about it. It’s nothing, really.” I said, trying to drive her away from those thoughts, the suggestions of what I might have done. I think it took her awhile to process it all because only 10 minutes later did she snap back and realized I had stopped.
“Why did you stop?” she asked with her anxiety itching to pull free.
“Were you even listening?” I asked, maybe slightly angrier than intended. I wasn’t upset at her, well, not really. I mean, I would have reacted the same way. Maybe not so early on, but I would’ve reacted the same way, right? So, why did I respond in such an irritated tone? Was I hoping inside she would’ve been different? That she would’ve listened to my story before flipping out? That she would’ve understood?
But, she simply gazed to the side, as if a figure stood there watching.
“I have to go. It’s getting late and my mom’s probably worried.” She said with anxiety dancing upon each word.
She got up and started to leave, but I simply stood there watching. Just give her some time, I thought. She just needs some time to absorb it all, I reassured myself. Little did I know that it was the last time I would see her. By tomorrow, her family had moved and no-one had a clue where.
Who knew such a secret could cause so much chaos? Even half-revealed, the secret left me to live my life alone with the burden of such a secret heavier than ever before. Yet, perhaps such a secret saved me from a friendship I was not meant to have, a friend whose comfort was as fake as her words. “Friends never leave you because of a secret”—unless such a secret was as deadly as mine. Even unsaid, my secret was deadly as a poison seeping in your veins.
Do you believe in secrets?
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Untitled, John Zurz
Well I’ve done it now. You might ask: What could a person do to get into a situation like this? I happen to be asking myself the very same question. Maybe I should start from the beginning. Though it is really more like the middle, if you want to get all technical.
It started with a girl, as all great stories do. Well, a pretty girl because since when do great stories start with a girl that looks like she should be attacking Tokyo? Also there were two friends who were fighting over who should ask her out. If it were up to me I would just have them flip a coin and be done with it, but that’s just me. Now they both happened to be friends of mine, you can see where this is going can’t you? They both decided to have a series of challenges and the winner would ask her out. Naturally I was stuck as the referee. Lucky me.
It started off pretty simply. They had a race, the one hundred meter. They tied. Now they were timed so this wouldn’t happen and both times turned out to be the same. Down to the nano-second. So they tried again with the race, same thing happened. So they decided to have a hotdog eating contest. Again it was timed. They both ate the same number of hotdogs in a minute, this happened to be half a hotdog. By now I realized that this was getting ridiculous. They insisted that they try again. Guess what happened. Yup. They decided to move on. To what you may ask. They wanted to climb a rock wall. The same thing happened, again. They wanted to try again but I talked them out of it. They still refused to flip a coin so they had another race. This time in cars. It was from one side of the city to the other. Now you need to understand that neither of them are very bright, big surprise huh? Naturally they both forgot to fill the gas tanks, change the oil, or to inflate the tires with air. This was another draw.
Now this kind of thing went on for a while. I felt that I had to take one for the team, so I asked her out. She said yes and we had a great time. Now, when they found out they were mad as hell. I am not sure why though; I saved them both a lot of time. They had one last contest. Now I did not see the point of it. It was over. But no, they insisted. So here I am. In a tree. Surrounded by dogs. My shirt soaked in meat. Don’t ask how because even I am not sure. Now if only I knew how to tell them that the girl moved away a week after our date. But I won’t. Then they would get angry. I would hate to see what they would do to me.
It started with a girl, as all great stories do. Well, a pretty girl because since when do great stories start with a girl that looks like she should be attacking Tokyo? Also there were two friends who were fighting over who should ask her out. If it were up to me I would just have them flip a coin and be done with it, but that’s just me. Now they both happened to be friends of mine, you can see where this is going can’t you? They both decided to have a series of challenges and the winner would ask her out. Naturally I was stuck as the referee. Lucky me.
It started off pretty simply. They had a race, the one hundred meter. They tied. Now they were timed so this wouldn’t happen and both times turned out to be the same. Down to the nano-second. So they tried again with the race, same thing happened. So they decided to have a hotdog eating contest. Again it was timed. They both ate the same number of hotdogs in a minute, this happened to be half a hotdog. By now I realized that this was getting ridiculous. They insisted that they try again. Guess what happened. Yup. They decided to move on. To what you may ask. They wanted to climb a rock wall. The same thing happened, again. They wanted to try again but I talked them out of it. They still refused to flip a coin so they had another race. This time in cars. It was from one side of the city to the other. Now you need to understand that neither of them are very bright, big surprise huh? Naturally they both forgot to fill the gas tanks, change the oil, or to inflate the tires with air. This was another draw.
Now this kind of thing went on for a while. I felt that I had to take one for the team, so I asked her out. She said yes and we had a great time. Now, when they found out they were mad as hell. I am not sure why though; I saved them both a lot of time. They had one last contest. Now I did not see the point of it. It was over. But no, they insisted. So here I am. In a tree. Surrounded by dogs. My shirt soaked in meat. Don’t ask how because even I am not sure. Now if only I knew how to tell them that the girl moved away a week after our date. But I won’t. Then they would get angry. I would hate to see what they would do to me.
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